It’s all in the testosterones baby.
So, you stand on top of a hill and scream your lungs out. you stomp your feet and show no mercy to the flowers and weeds beneath. you grab the scissors tightly in your fingers. Awaiting a chance to snip off the root of all sufferings. And you still don’t understand why.
1) Mr ‘I don’t understand girls. Teach me!’- Please don’t because you never will. There is an absolute reason why men are from mars and women are from venus. Those books selling at tens of bucks in Kinokuniya are not written for nuts. They are not written out of pure passion for writing. These people devote their entire lives to teaching how to bridge the gap between the two sexes. Basically they got bored of creating new and insipirational novels and desperately need money to tide over hard times. Be realistic. ‘How to reignite the sparks in your marriage’ never works. You need Kamasutra instead.
2) Mr ‘Girls go crazy over me. I am a God’s gift to earth’- If Mr Hot walks pass you in the street and throws a smittened glance at you. Please don’t be flattered. Don’t even bother to look back and drop a reciprocal smile. No point in feeding his already exploding ego. He is just asking for assurance and by not giving him that. He spend his whole day thinking if there’s anything wrong with his hair today.
3) Mr ‘I think girls go crazy over me’- Continue dreaming. Doctors said day-dreaming is so very healthy and it aids in longevity.
4) Mr ‘Im cool about living alone’- Oh yes. And you spend 8 hours killing snails in front of your computer. 5 hours watching porn. 3hours surfing ‘How to find the perfect girl’ and 2 hours assuring yourself that ‘actually i really really can live alone’. Of course that leaves you 6 hours of sleep everyday. reasonable :)
5) Mr ‘Im too intellectual with superficial conversations and looks to me are just bonuses’- Yeah right. There are plenty of plain janes out there who engage in oh so intellectual conversations. They talk about philosophies and politics. Obama and Syrian Corruptions. But why are you messaging pretty random girls on facebook? I’m impressed that you actually have inborn psychic powers to know her conversational capabilities just by a profile picture :)
6) Mr ‘I’m not slow but i think i should only hold her hand after 6 months’- PLS WATCH PORN.
7) Mr ‘My mummy likes girls who are demure and thrifty’- you mean your mum is looking for a girlfriend? Go back to mummy please.
8) Mr ‘I have a girlfriend. Or do i have 2? Actually i think i have 5?’- Go fuck yourself. And may we all bless you to attain STDs asap. you jerk.
9) Mr ‘I’m a fisherman. i have a net. And i am nice’- Don’t talk about exclusivity with him. So what if he brings you honey lemon drink when you are having a bad throat. He is brewing herbal tea for poor Miss X who is having an itchy nose. He is buying pad for Miss Y who is bleeding to her own death. And he is lending his shoulder to Miss Z who just had a horrible breakup. Don’t be fooled to think that he is nice to yours truely ONLY. He is not and he never will be. For he eats fishes and prawns for a living.
I don’t condemn the male species. This is just written out of pure mischief :)